Everything learned from mom

MOM TAUGHT ME RELIGION:
“You better pray that will come out of that carpet!”

MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT TIME TRAVEL:
“If you don’t straighten up, I’ll knock you into next week!”

MOM TAUGHT ME LOGIC:
“Because I said so, that’s why!”

MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT HYPOCRISY:
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times-don’t exaggerate!”