Chuck Norris Jokes, Again

I wanted to throw in a couple more funny Chuck Norris lines.

“Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.”

“Chuck Norris does not know about this site. Otherwise he would have deleted the internet.”

Q & A By Jeff Chu, Time Magazine, Annual Issue, March 20, 2006

Time: You’re a rare show-biz Republican.

Chuck: If I found a Democrat I like, I’d support him too. When
President Bush was Governor of Texas, I felt he was a strong leader.
And I felt he’d be a strong leader of the country. But I wouldn’t want
to be in his shoes for all the money in the world. A group in Texas
tried to get me to run for Senator, but I’ve got more important things
to do.

Time: Like being an online cult hero. There are these weird but wildly
popular sayings like “Chuck Norris can divide by zero.”

C: To say I’m surprised is an understatement. I take it as a compliment.

T: Do you even send e-mails?

C: I told you, I’m from the Wild West. I write by hand.

98 Responses to “Chuck Norris Jokes, Again”

  1. nutcase says:

    hitman may choke you whith fiberwire but chuck norris can due it whith his eyes

  2. Steven says:

    Chuck Norris counted to infinity….twice.

    Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked Terry Shiavo into a coma.

    Chuck Norris can speak braile.

  3. Joenny says:

    I am Chuck Norris!

  4. Joenny says:

    Chuck Norris can eat a rubix cube that is messed up and poop it solved.

  5. Schumie says:

    Chuck Norris goes uphill skiing.

  6. BARRON says:

    chuck norris doesn’t take medication for arthritis, arthitis takes medication for chuck norris

  7. Josheh!!!! says:

    Theres no such thing as tornados, Chuck Norris just doesn’t like trailer parks.

    If you are Googling up Chuck Norris and spell his name wrong, it won’t say, “Did you mean: Chuck Norris,” it will say, “Run while you still can!!!”

  8. corbyn says:

    chuck norris once went to the virgin islands, there not virgin anymore

  9. Hawk says:

    When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.

    Chuck Norris was going to send an email, but decided it would be quicker to run it over.

    Crop circles are Chucks way of telling cornfields to lay the fuck down.

  10. Rosco says:

    Chuck Norris has a kitty….every night for a snack!

  11. Krystle says:

    In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

  12. Blake Patterson says:

    Chuck Norris does’nt drive cars around, cars drive chuck norris around!

  13. Nick says:

    Chuck Norris can make a parody of an instrumental

  14. […] whether you can make a difference, just consider this.Chuck Norris needs no introduction, but the Chuck Norris posts on my blog are some of the most popular ever. They have more comments than any other, and comments […]

  15. “Whether they find life or not, I think Jupiter should be considered an empty planet.” – Chuck Norris

  16. Haha … Chuck is the Best

  17. negatvie says:

    Chuck Norris has sex with men. not because he’s gay but because he ran out of women

  18. mr alton anderson says:

    chuck norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

  19. rbk says:

    dinosaurs went exstinct because of the Chuck Norrisauras but how did the Chuck Norrisauras go extinct….CHUCK NORRIS and how did he go extinct he didnt.

    chuck norris sleeps with a night light.not because he’s afraid of the dark but the dark’s afraid of chuck norris

  20. Herman Moman says:

    Me and Chuck Norris spoon every tuesday night

  21. NASTY says:

    I think we all know that if we put Chuck Norris between the US and Mexico we won’t have any more immigration problems. Period.

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