Jokes from the last Dilbert newsletter

“If you fall and break your leg, don’t come running to me!”

I was dining with a friend at our favorite Thai restaurant when one of the owners came by to show us photos of her new baby boy. Afterward, my friend remarked that she was surprised that the baby looked “so Chinese.” I said, “Well, he does look Asian, since both parents are from Thailand, but what did you expect?” She said, “Yeah, I know, but I expected him to look more American since they’ve been living in the U.S. for 15 years.”

We were chatting about the latest high price of crude oil, when a friend of ours piped up: “I don’t understand the big deal about the price of oil. I mean, I only put oil in my car every now and then, but I put gas in my car every day!”

Dear Dogbert,

Lots of people write blogs, but I’ve never heard of anyone who actually reads them. What’s up with that?

Kurt

Dear Skirt,

Blogs exist to fill the important market niche of writing that is so dull that your eyes will burrow out of the back of your head to escape. People do read blogs, usually by accident, sometimes on a dare, but those readers are later mistaken for Mafia victims with what appears to be two holes in the back of their heads. On closer inspection, you might find their eyeballs clinging to the drapes directly behind them. Unless the cat gets them first.

Sincerely,

Dogbert