Profile 6/29: A three year old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed the left was on the right foot. She said, “Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet.” He looked up at her with a raised eyebrow and said, “Don’t kid me, Mom, I know they’re my feet.” If tomorrow is…Continue Reading…
MOM TAUGHT ME RELIGION:“You better pray that will come out of that carpet!” MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT TIME TRAVEL:“If you don’t straighten up, I’ll knock you into next week!” MOM TAUGHT ME LOGIC:“Because I said so, that’s why!” MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT HYPOCRISY:“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times-don’t exaggerate!”
MOM TAUGHT ME IRONY:“Keep laughing and I’ll give you something to cry about!” MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT THE SCIENCE OF OSMOSIS:“Shut your mouth and eat your supper!” MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT STAMINA:“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone!” MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT WEATHER:“It looks like a tornado went through your room!”
Nine out of ten Americans agree that out of ten people, one person will always disagree with the other nine. Colin Mochrie
Was in 6/13 profile: One day I noticed my sister wasn’t wearing a watch. When I asked her about it, she replied, “I don’t need a watch. At home there’s a clock in every room, and in the car there’s a clock on the dashboard.” Knowing my sister’s an avid shopper, I inquired, “Well, how…Continue Reading…
Taken off profile 6/12: “You know, it’s at times like these when I’m trapped in an airlock with an alien and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I’d listened to what my mother told me when I was young!” “Why, what did she tell you?” “I don’t know, I…Continue Reading…