Chuck Norris Jokes, Again
I wanted to throw in a couple more funny Chuck Norris lines.
“Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.”
“Chuck Norris does not know about this site. Otherwise he would have deleted the internet.”
Q & A By Jeff Chu, Time Magazine, Annual Issue, March 20, 2006
Time: You’re a rare show-biz Republican.
Chuck: If I found a Democrat I like, I’d support him too. When
President Bush was Governor of Texas, I felt he was a strong leader.
And I felt he’d be a strong leader of the country. But I wouldn’t want
to be in his shoes for all the money in the world. A group in Texas
tried to get me to run for Senator, but I’ve got more important things
to do.
Time: Like being an online cult hero. There are these weird but wildly
popular sayings like “Chuck Norris can divide by zero.”
C: To say I’m surprised is an understatement. I take it as a compliment.
T: Do you even send e-mails?
C: I told you, I’m from the Wild West. I write by hand.
chuck norris once ordered a big mac at burger king…and got one =)
Chuck Norris cooks his eggs raw
Chuck Norris was my friends hero…. that was before he was found on the side of the road with a dent in his head.
Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in using stealth, if his enemies hear him coming they just close there eyes and pray.
the ninja turtles are a true story. one day chuck nrris ate some whole turtles and when they came out they were 6 ft. tall and knew every kind of martial arts.
Chuck Norris is responsible for the overpopulation of China — He hosted a karate tournament and all the women within a 1000 mile radius were instantly impregnated…
Chuck Norris can believe it’s not butter.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Superman ownes a pair of Chuck Norris Pajamas.
u kno
chuck norris sleeps with a night-light not because Chuck norris is afraid of the dark but because the dark is afraid of chuck norris
chuck norris doesnt sweat he glistens
The planet pluto is no longer in our solar system because Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it out of orbit
It wasn’t Beowulf that killed Grendel, it was really Chuck Norris.
Rage against the Machine didnt write “Killing In The Name of”…It was Really by Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris shits he looks at himself in the mirror to scare the shit out of him.
When your computer freezes its not the connection its chuck norris getting online.
Chuck Norris clogs the toilet when he pisses
Chuck Norris can burn something through a magnifying glass in the DARK!!
God once said “Let there be Light” and my dad (Chuck Norris) said “say please”
Chuck Norris is the reason waldo is hiding
Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in the periodic table of elements; he only believes in the element of surprise.
When Chuck Norris jumps in a pool, he doesn’t get splashed. The pool gets Chuck Norrished
there is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has not met chuck norris
There was only one person who cried when chuck norris was born and that was the doctor. Nobody slaps chuck norris!!!
If you can see chuck norris. He can see you. If you turn around and he is gone. Your already dead!