Chuck Norris Jokes, Again

I wanted to throw in a couple more funny Chuck Norris lines.

“Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.”

“Chuck Norris does not know about this site. Otherwise he would have deleted the internet.”

Q & A By Jeff Chu, Time Magazine, Annual Issue, March 20, 2006

Time: You’re a rare show-biz Republican.

Chuck: If I found a Democrat I like, I’d support him too. When
President Bush was Governor of Texas, I felt he was a strong leader.
And I felt he’d be a strong leader of the country. But I wouldn’t want
to be in his shoes for all the money in the world. A group in Texas
tried to get me to run for Senator, but I’ve got more important things
to do.

Time: Like being an online cult hero. There are these weird but wildly
popular sayings like “Chuck Norris can divide by zero.”

C: To say I’m surprised is an understatement. I take it as a compliment.

T: Do you even send e-mails?

C: I told you, I’m from the Wild West. I write by hand.

98 Responses to “Chuck Norris Jokes, Again”

  1. Tro says:

    The Grinch didn’t steal christmas Chuck Norris Did, The good chuck giveith and the good chuck takeith away

  2. Brandon says:

    Time waits for no one, except for Chuck Norris.

  3. Party Animal says:

    Chuck Norris doesn’t pray to God…God prays to Chuck Norris

  4. P.NISS says:

    Jupiter is one of Chuck Norris’ farts. That is why it is a gas planet.

  5. guy says:

    Chuck Norris hates the Browns

  6. doctor zoidberg says:

    Nagasaki and Hiroshima werent hit by atomic bombs…Chuck Norris took two incredibly massive shits in the same week.

  7. chuck lover says:

    chuck norris can defeat a brick wall at tennis

  8. chuck lover says:

    chuck norris doesn’t throw up after a party he throw’s down

  9. narutofreakkk_nicole says:

    when Jesus was born everyone worshipped him because he was so great…but it was actually chuck norris in disguise.

  10. bucky says:

    chuck norris does not speak, words are materialized out of thin air and speak for him.

  11. bit-b-fly says:

    the president had a plan to end the war in Iraq to bad chuck Norris was busy that day

  12. michael schwartz says:

    Chuck Norris does not wear a watch, He decides what time it is. C.N. Rules, more jokes please.

  13. michael schwartz says:

    Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac from Burger King, and got it.

  14. O Town 80 says:

    Chuck Norris was once bitten by a cobra. After 5 days of excruciating pain the cobra died

    Chuck Norris makes his internal organs pay rent

    The day Chuck Norris was born death by roundhouse went up 200%

    Zoo’s put up fences to protect the animals from Chuck Norris

    The “c section” is named for Chuck Norris because he roundhoused his way out of his mothers stomach

    Chuck Norris wears ribbed condoms inside out so Chuck Norris gets the pleasure

  15. katie says:

    jesus wears a bracelet that says WWCND- what would chuck Norris do?-

  16. Jake says:

    chuck norris doesnt get wet, water gets chuck norris

  17. Jake says:

    chuck norris doesnt do push-ups, he pushes the earth down.

  18. ged says:

    chuck norris is the only person to beat a brick wall in a game of tennis

  19. peka says:

    Chuck Norris can bite his elbows.

  20. Herman Moman says:

    Chuck Norris is my gay hero

  21. Texas Ranger says:

    Some People Say Only Tuff Man Eat Nail For Breakfast. Chuch Norris Does His Grosery Shopping At The HardWare Store. >.

  22. Retearted Porn Star says:

    Chuck Norris Doesn’t Wear A ConDom Cuz There Is NO Protection From CHuck Norris. haha im a porn star and your not!!!

  23. bob73 says:

    chuck norris was in a ‘who has more balls contest’ against lance armstrong…chuck norris wno by 7

  24. mad man says:

    Issacs nutins law of revelushion pruves that chuck norris can roundhous kick you yesterday

  25. nutcase says:

    issac nutans thery of refelushion provs that chuck norris can roundhous kick you yesterday.

Leave a Reply